Zelfmoord

Jennifer was a victim of other people playing with her soul. Jennifer was only 15 years old, but saw no way out, but out. She commited suicide. Jennifer died too young. Jennifer is not the only one. Every year over 1 million people commit suicide. 1500 of them are Dutch. For people between 20 and 30, suicide is death case number one. These numbers indicate that suicide is a big problem in modern society which should be taken very seriously. That’s why this talk is about suicide. Let’s start with the history of suicide. The Romans thought that every now and then there could be a reason to commit suicide. The Grecians thought different about that and the Christians agreed on that. They believed that there was never a good reason to commit suicide. Suicide became a sick deperate act, so that in the Middle ages a person even after its dead, was punished. It even reached a point where anyone who attempted suicide, was put to death. Nowadays people don’t do this anymore, but suicide is still a taboo. This doesn’t make it any easier for either the people with suicidel tendency, nor the relatives of the deceased. But why do people commit suicide? The people who kill themselves can be divided into a few different groups. Firstly, there are the people with psychological problems like a psychosis, schizophrenia or a manic-depression. 40% of all people who commit suicide have been admitted to a psychiatric hospital and therefore belong to this group. An other group consists out of people who commit suicide after a big shock in their life. This can be a serious disease or the loss of a beloved person. Then there is also a group that dreams of the death as a liberation of life. They make sure that they can not be found during their attempt and that nothing can go wrong. But this still doesn’t answer the question why people commit suicide. It is very difficult to answer this question, as we’re talking about the human being, and not about the result of a harvest or the prediction of an eclipse of the moon. We always try to find one cause, but in reality suicide is the result of many different factors which have accumulated for many years and result into a climax. The person probably didn’t even know exactly why he killed himself. A few factors which can contribute to this climax are for example social factors. Often these people are very shy and are afraid to be critisized. They feel that they don’t belong to the society. Also sexual problems can lead to suicide. You can think of, for example, homosexuals. People always say to accept homosexuals, until they themselves are affected by it in some way. This contradicting situation arises questions in the gay person’s mind. Then you must have a very strong personality to be able to handle this. People who can’t, are often tempted to commit suicide. Then of course also personal factors play an important role. People who think in black- and white terms are often more tempted to commit suicide. An other important reason for suicide is modern society. Achievements and success have become the norms of today. A lot of young people can’t fulfil these high requirements and feel unaccepted and superfluous. An other problem is a drugs/alcohol addiction. Somebody can use alcohol or drugs in an excessive way to try to forget about his problems and even let them go away. In reality a new problem has been created; the addiction. When they are sober, their problems are back again. Then they can either continue their addiction or kill themselves. Most of the time, the problems already occur in the youth. You can divide these problems into 2 groups. Firstly there are the temporary problems, like problems with teachers, the ending of a relationship or being a victim of violence. Secondly there are the structural problems. These are lasting problems which mostly occur within the family. Problems you can think of are incest, ill-treatment, serious fights or too high expectations of the parents. Again, it is always the combination of many negative situations which lead to suicidal tendency. On the other hand, serious problems at home can be compensated by a nice school. How do you recognise someone with suicidal tendency? There are 2 different signals; the verbal signals and the behavioural signals. We divide the verbal messages in again 2 different groups; the direct verbal messages like ‘I don’t want to live anymore’ or ‘I want to end my life’ and the indirect verbal messages like ‘my life is useless’ or ‘Soon you won’t have to worry about me anymore’. Some behavioural signals are: depressed mood, aggressive behaviour, skipping school, sleep – or eating disorders, bad marks or hyperactive behaviour. Young people often have a ‘masked’ depression. They will only express themselves with behavioural signals. It is very important to react on these signals in the right way. Actually there is only one way to help somebody with suicidal tendency and that’s by talking about it. It isn’t true that talking about gloomy thoughts only make those thoughts stronger. A conversation can hold out hope or give someone a better insight in himself or the situation he’s in. But if you want to talk about it, you must keep some very important things in mind. To start with don’t use ‘clichés’ like ‘you can’t do that to your parents’ or ‘life is too good for that’. This can have a negative effect because the person will think you don’t understand him. Also you can’t deny the problem with sentences like ‘it isn’t that bad, is it?’ or give them false hope. Of course it is also possible to seek professional help. Het Centrum ter Preventie van Zelfmoord, a centre where they try to prevent as many people from commiting suicide as possible, get about 13 calls a day from people who want to end their life. Because they are always prepared to listen and because they know what to do, they can prevent a lot of people from killing themselves. It often happens that people don’t want to talk. They are ashamed of their thoughts. But because they don’t talk about it, they get into an even deeper depression. Until the moment they can’t handle it anymore and make the choice to commit suicide. Though, choice has often nothing to do with it. One can hardly call the irrational thinking of a depressed brain ‘choice’. People who commit suicide are in a trance-like state which we call constriction, which is almost a form of tunnelvision. During this state you don’t see anything but the objective, which is the act that is going to remove the pain. Even if the person has a loving family and a lot of friends, in this state he doesn’t think about them, they aren’t on his mind. For a few crucial moments, those people lose sight of their dreams. They forget about the past and deny the future, they focus on the now and the pain it contains. And then they end the pain, together with their life.
Suicide by age Suicide under the age of 12 harldy happens. Children of that age don’t necessarily have to be happy, but they just don’t give up. The age group of 12 till 18 is a more high-risk group. Which is logical, because of puberty and the developement of their sexuality and their body and the problems it brings along with it. And of course the many changes like a new school and a lot of new people also contribute to this. People older than sixty often commit suicide after the loss of their husband or wife. They also feel that they aren’t necessary anymore in society, because they are too old. With young people more attempts happen than real suicides. A failed attempt often shows there were still doubts and that the person unconsciously didn’t want to die. Sometimes an attempt can be just to get the attention and understanding of people, but in this way they only reach the opposite. But only a small percentage of all failed attempts is to get attention, so don’t think everybody who makes an attempt wants to reach this. More often, they just couldn’t think of any other way out. Last but not least; one of the most important things in the prevention of suicide is the understanding of it. That’s why the many misconceptions about suicide should be cleared up. Here are some of them. Suicide is a disease. No, suicide isn’t a disease, but a social or psychological problem. Sometimes a psychological disorder can be the reason for suicide, but then the suicide is a result of that disease, and not a disease itself. People who often threaten with suicide, won’t do it. This is so not true! 80% of all people who have commited suicide, have let this known in the weeks or months before the act with clear signals. Relatives of the deceased won’t kill themselves very soon. It’s the other way round. Relatives have a bigger change to end their own life some time. if we just faced the fact that suicide is a big problem in modern society and just talked about it without being ashamed of it, we'd be able to end the taboo. Wouldn't that make it easier for all of us?