Before I Go To Sleep

Part One – Today

A 47-year-old woman, Christine, wakes up in bed one morning next to her husband, but cannot remember anything about who she is or what she is doing there. She thinks she is in her 20s. The husband, Ben, explains to her that she has amnesia caused by a car crash and has been in this state for more than 20 years. Each day is as if she has never been born, and all must be learned anew. She’s a determined woman who, after Ben leaves for work in the morning leaving helpful notes on the whiteboard in the kitchen (“wash windows”, etc.), discovers a note in her handbag. Following instructions this leads her to a rendezvous with Dr. Edmund Nash, who tells her that at his encouragement she has been writing a journal of each day for the past two weeks. Dr. Nash hands Christine back her journal after she had given it to him to read it. After Dr. Nash has dropped off Christine back home she starts reading her journal, which first words read: “DON’T TRUST BEN”.

Part Two – The Journal of Christine Lucas

The journal is written like a novel. In the Journal Christine writes down everything significant that she learns each day, in hope that she will gradually re-learn her past. Dr. Nash helpfully phones Christine each morning to tell her about the journal and its hiding place. As she reads on she discovers her past, through flashbacks of key moments of her history that she has written down. These flashbacks contain clues of what caused her current state and how the world around her has developed together with her amnesia. She learns about her best friend, Claire, of whom she has become estranged. She also remembers having a son, Adam. When she confronts Ben with her memory he claims Adam died as a soldier in Afghanistan. At last she remembers having an affair, herself being assaulted in a hotel room waiting for her lover. She finds that this was the real cause of her amnesia, not the car accident which Ben has been telling her of. Dr. Nash, on whom Christine develops a crush, takes her to places that might trigger memories, her former house, and a clinic (Waring House). He also wants to take her back to the place where she was assaulted, a hotel in Brighton, but Christine refuses. In her last journal entry Christine is re-united with Claire. They discuss how life has been over the last 20 years and decide to stay in touch. The last thing she writes about is how she has decided she will tell Ben everything about her journal and Dr. Nash the next day.

Part Three – Today

When Christine has finished reading her journal she starts packing her bag, because she will be going away together with Ben that evening to celebrate their anniversary. When Ben comes home they leave as quickly as possible, to beat traffic. It is raining and Christine cannot figure out where they are headed, it is quite a long drive from London. Finally they arrive at a small, deteriorated hotel. The hotel owner shows Christine their room and then goes back to help Ben with their luggage. Christine looks out the window and spots a sign: “BRIGHTON PIER”. Then suddenly she recognizes the room, the room in which she was assaulted. When Ben comes into the room with their luggage she pretends nothing has happened. However, in the mean time she tries to think of ways to escape. Ben leaves the room to get some champagne and while he is gone Christine searches his bag for useful items. She finds a letter and opens it. In it she finds pages of her journal of after her last journal entry she has read. She starts reading. She reads about her telling Ben about her journal and him attacking, badly injuring her after she had told it. Two days later she calls Claire, she tells Claire about how Ben attacked her after she told him about her diary. Claire is shocked and tells Christine that Ben might not be the person he claims to be, as well as that Adam never was in the army and is still alive. At that moment Ben enters the hotel room. Christine confronts him with her findings, she asks him what he wants and Ben answers he wants her to remember, to remember what happened. Ben starts telling about her past, about her affair. Christine remembers, she remembers the man she had had an affair with, Mike, the man standing right in front of her. Mike tells her about how she had ended the affair and how he had still loved her. When Ben, Adam, and Claire had stopped visiting her because they thought it would be for the best, Mike had collected her from the Waring House, claiming to be Ben, and Christine, without memory, had believed him and gone with him. Mike tries to burn the journal but in a struggle the whole building catches on fire. Christine loses conscious. When Christine wakes up she is outside the building and people are hanging over her. Adam, Ben, Claire, and Dr. Nash tried to find her as soon as they had figured out who the man she had been living with really was. They tell her Mike has died in the fire. However, finally Christine remembers her past. She remembers marrying Ben, having her son, studying English, and being best friends with Claire. The only thing she can do now is hoping she will still remember the following morning. She closes her eyes and sleeps.