How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair
And how many times do you swear that you’ll never love again? How many lonely, sleepless nights
How many lies, how many fights
And why would you want to put yourself through all that again? “Love is pain,” I hear her say
Love has a cruel and bitter way
Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain
How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost? You never want to feel so sad and lost again
One day you could be looking
Through an old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
You could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet
But that same old smile that you’ve been thinking of all day
You can turn the clock to zero, honey
I’ll sell the stock, we’ll spend all the money
We’re starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if you’ll take me back
I’m thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, sister
You’ll never know how much I missed her
Starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river’s wide, we’ll swim across
Started up a brand new day
It could happen to you – just like it happened to me
There’s simply no immunity – there’s no guarantee
I say love’s such a force – if you find yourself in it
And sometimes no reflection is there
Baby, wait a minute, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Turn the clock to zero, honey
I’ll sell the stock, we’ll spend all the money
We’re starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, Mac
I’m begging her to take me back
I’m thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river’s wide, we’ll swim across
Started up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, buddy
Don’t wanna be no fuddy-duddy
Started up a brand new day
I’m the rhythm in your tune, I’m the sun and you’re the moon
I’m a bat and you’re the cave
You’re the beach and I’m the wave
I’m the plow and you’re the land
You’re the glove and I’m the hand
I’m the train and you’re the station
I’m a flagpole to your nation – yeah! I’m the present to your future
You’re the wound and I’m the suture
You’re the magnet to my pole
I’m the devil in your soul
You’re the pupil I’m the teacher
You’re the church and I’m the preacher
You’re the flower I’m the rain
You’re the tunnel I’m the train
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Starting up a brand new day
You’re the crop to my rotation
You’re the sum of my equation
I’m the answer to your question
If you follow my suggestion
We can turn this ship around
We’ll go up instead of down
You’re the pan and I’m the handle
You’re the flame and I’m the candle
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
We’re starting up a brand new day
This is a poem analysis about the song ‘Brand New Day’, which is sung by Sting. In this analysis I’ll try to tell what the song is about in my own words, next I will distinguish some techniques which have been used in the song, and finally I’ll try to get to know why Sting as written this song, and I will give my opinion about Brand New Day. First I am going to paraphrase what Sting tried to tell his audience. In the first 12 lines, he is saying what a pain love can be (‘Love is pain’). He is stressing all negative sides of love, especially when someone broke off a relation with you. And when you see a picture of you two still together, smiling, you start to think of those good old times, and that you still could’ve been together, smiling just as happily as on that picture. But then he says you should never say die, and that you should go on with your life, no matter how hard it will be. (‘The river’s wide, we’ll swim across.’) Then he signs that it could happen to everyone, ‘just like it happened to him.’ Sometimes you love someone so much, you the one you love doesn’t love you, and that can be painful, too. Next he says again that you should go on with your life, how hard and tough it may be. In the last part of the song, Sting suggests that he has found someone, and that they fit perfectly well together. He gives lots of examples which belong together, too, and adapts them to himself and his love: I’m the rhythm in your tune. You’re the tunnel I’m the train. You’re the sum of my equation. In between all those examples he stimulates his audience again to not mourn too long, and to go out and find someone else to love. Stand up all you lovers in the world. We’re starting up a brand new day. And that’s how the song ends. Now I’ll have a look at how the song is built up, and what kind of techniques have been used by Sting. In the first part of the song I couldn’t discover any clear use of ever recurring rhythm, but in the last part I could. In the three stanzas in which Sting compares himself and his love to things that belong together, every line has around eight syllables and that gives a nice rhythm. There also is rhyme in the song, but it doesn’t really have one regular structure, because there are a few different rhyming structures used. A rhyming structure can be expressed by letters, and here follows one rhyming structure used by Sting: AAE BBE CCE DDE
These letters stand for the first 12 lines. Every letter indicates one line, and the A indicates one rhyming sound, the B another one, etc. Now I’m going to write something about other techniques being used in the song (e.g. alliteration, simile, assonance or repetition). In the title already (Brand New Day) a technique has been used. For the word ‘brand’ has a connotation with warmth and love, which is the subject of this song. In the words lonely, sleepless nights consonance of the letter l has been used. The l is a ‘long’ letter, and conveys the idea of a long night, so I think it has been successfully used. In that same verse the words ‘how many’ are repeated several times. This indicates that there really were very many sleepless nights, lies and fights. And the words nights, lies and fights show us another technique being used, namely assonance: the repetition of vowel sounds. This i-sound doesn’t really convey a mood or situation, but it might be connected with the word ‘why?’ because it has the same sound, and that word does actually convey the mood of the person who seems to haven’t slept all those nights. In the fourth verse you can see the use of a simile in the sentence ‘How could it be that what you need the most could leave you feeling just like a ghost?’. With the words ‘what you need the most’ is meant love, I suppose, so here is asked why love can make you feel like a ghost, when someone has broken off a relation with you. A ghost has connotation with negative things like fear and cold, which has connotations which loneliness. So I think this simile has been used successfully. In the sixth verse alliteration has been used in the words ‘I’ll sell the stock, we’ll spend all the money’. Although the s is a soft sound and it’s often used in positive situations, I think it has some kind of “negative side-effect”. And this verse is about what you could do to carry on with your life again, so this use of alliteration doesn’t really work for me. In the tenth verse simile is used again: ‘It could happen to you, just like it happened to me.’ This tells the audience that he knows what he’s singing about, because he has experienced it all by himself once. In this way the audience will listen to Sting earlier, so I think this simile has been used in a successful way. In the eleventh verse the words ‘wait a minute’ have been repeated several times. In the previous verse is said that ‘there sometimes is no reflection’, which means that the one you love, has no special feelings for you, too. And this repetition of ‘wait a minute’ can be seen as the one who loves the other is asking (almost begging) the other to not go away, but to ‘wait a minute’, and by this repetition that situation is well described. In the fifteenth verse is a nice play with words and sound: ‘Turn the clock to zero buddy, don’t wanna be no fuddy-duddy.’ This sentence contains rhyme, assonance, and consonance. The words buddy and fuddy-duddy have a childish sound, and adults (or teenagers) don’t want to love someone in a childish way, so they might listen to Sting’s advice earlier. So I think also this technique has been used successfully. In the eighteenth and twentieth verse the words ‘stand up’ are repeated several times. In this powerful way (when the song’s sung, these words are screamed) of using words, Sting wants to stress for the last time to go on with your life and not to say die. In the nineteenth verse the word ‘flame’ has connotations with warmth and love, just like the title of the song. This is an effective way of convincing your audience. And there are many more interesting techniques used in this great song, but I think now it’s time to look at why Sting has written Brand New Day. I think that with this song Sting wants to take a message, an advice to be more precise, to his audience, which is that you must not let your life stop and fade away when someone broke off your relation. You should stand up and go on living, looking for another love. It will be hard, and you won’t find ‘your true love’ in like one day, and there might be set backs, but you may not say die. You must go on, starting up a brand new day. My opinion about this song is very positive. When I first heard the song I was immediately impressed by just the music. But after I have done this poem analysis I know what the song is about and what Sting tries to make clear to his audience. I’m even more impressed now and I think this is a magnificent song. As additional assignment to this analysis we had to find an article which has some connection with this song, and explain why we’ve chosen that very article. I chose the article ‘When puppy love bites: even though it’s tempting to offer advice, sympathy and restraint are often your best approach when adolescent love leaves wounds’ because it is about a girl, Alyx, whose heart was broken after her boyfriend broke up with her. In the article is written how she deals with it, and how her family deals with it. An expert on this subject gives some comment on how to act towards Alyx, and how not to. So this article has the same subject as the song, and also gives advice, but in the song advice is given to the one whose heart has been broken, and in the article advice is given to relatives of the one whose heart was broken. When puppy love bites: even though it's tempting to offer advice, sympathy and restraint are often your best approach when adolescent love leaves wounds
Better Homes & Gardens, March, 2005 by Avery Hurt
Alyx Holmes was 14 years old when the boy she loved abruptly ended their yearlong relationship. And when the relationship ended, the heartbreak began. "It was very, very painful," says Alyx, who's from Arlington, Texas. "Getting over it was a slow and gradual process that took almost a year. I just could not stop thinking about it." Alyx was helped enormously by the support of her mom during those difficult times. "She came and sat next to me and asked if I wanted to talk. I usually didn't," laughs Alyx, "but she made sure I knew she was there for me." Her mom didn't try to give her unwanted advice, nor did she try to diminish the depth of Alyx's hurt by writing off the relationship as mere puppy love. Alyx's mother did exactly the right thing. "At times like this, it's important to listen and let your child know you are there, but you shouldn't intrude. You should err on the side of not giving advice," says Janet R. Laubgross, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Fairfax, Virginia, and a member of the American Psychological Association who specializes in relationship issues. Researchers are discovering that lending your teen a helping hand, willing ear, and shoulder to cry on during a breakup is more important than previously thought. For example, a study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology shows that a painful romantic falling-out in adolescence can trigger major depression, a condition that may stay with some people for years to come. Even if a breakup doesn't lead to a long-term case of the blues, what you say and do during this emotional time can stay with your child for a lifetime. WHAT NOT TO SAY
When dealing with heartbreak, sometimes it's not what you say, but rather what you shouldn't say. Parents often end up trying to be helpful with such comments as, "There are plenty more fish in the sea," and "You're better off without him," and perhaps the worst of all, "It was just puppy love." "Comments like these are well-meant but they can exacerbate the problem," says Deborah Welsh, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville who does research into adolescent romantic relationships. "Kids are feeling a lot of pain during this time and it is important not to belittle that pain." "YOU'RE YOUNG, YOU'LL GET OVER IT IN NO TIME." Yes, it can seem to you that your teen is overreacting, but think back to your childhood before saying anything. "Teens tend to feel everything intensely, and studies show that romantic relationships are the largest source of intense feelings in teens, both positive and negative," Welsh says. "I DIDN'T LIKE HER ANYWAY." You may not have and, now that she's broken your son's heart, you downright detest her. But don't let on because, despite the current circumstances, your child still has a strong emotional attachment to his ex. Attacking her attacks him. A better tactic is to recognize that this person was a special love in your child's life. You might even hear him say as much with a comment such as, "I'm never going to feel this way again." Your response to that? "You're right. You won't. Every time you fall in love it will be different." It's a validation of the way he feels without closing the door on future happiness. "YOU'LL LOOK BACK AND LAUGH ABOUT THIS ONE DAY." That may well be true but now is not the time to say so. Your child will be emotionally incapable of appreciating humor for a while. "Teens--girls especially--tend to ruminate about the loss, spending time in their rooms listening to sad music and dwelling on their sorrow," Welsh says. You may not be able to get your child to laugh, but you can, and should, get her out of the gloom and doom of her bedroom, Welsh says. Recruit a sympathetic friend to take her to the mall. Slip a sibling a few dollars to take her to a movie. Go on a long walk or bicycle ride, just you and her. The most important thing you can do during this time is simply be there for your child. Touch her hair as you walk by a little more often. Bring home his favorite takeout food (even if he doesn't eat it). Drive her to school if you can. Tell him that you realize he probably doesn't want to talk yet, but if he ever does, you'll be more than happy to listen. Don't be in any rush to talk once you get your child out and about. Let her initiate the conversation. Even if she doesn't talk (and she probably won't), the simple act of getting outside with someone who loves her will do her a world of good. WHEN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
Despite the initial agony, most kids get over heartbreak pretty quickly, says Janet R. Laubgross, a psychologist in Fairfax, Virginia. Usually that means a few weeks or, at the most, months. A few kids, however, run into real problems, especially if they've been struggling in other areas of the their lives as well. Here are a few things to keep in mind: * Major depressive disorder may set in as long as eight months after the breakup for these teens. Although relatively rare, depression can be dangerous. If your child does not seem to be bouncing back from the breakup some months later, is preoccupied with the loss, or is not interested in any of his or her normal activities, you should talk to your family doctor or the school psychologist or counselor. * Other signs to watch for: self-destructive behaviors (such as drug or alcohol use), falling grades, a continuing sense of hopelessness, an inability to have fun, a withdrawal from friends, a major change in eating or sleeping habits, a desire to run away (or actually does run away). Don't delay getting help if you spot any of these warnings. They could indicate that severe depression has set in.
Been hurt in some kind of love affair
And how many times do you swear that you’ll never love again? How many lonely, sleepless nights
How many lies, how many fights
And why would you want to put yourself through all that again? “Love is pain,” I hear her say
Love has a cruel and bitter way
Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain
How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost? You never want to feel so sad and lost again
Through an old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
You could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet
But that same old smile that you’ve been thinking of all day
You can turn the clock to zero, honey
I’ll sell the stock, we’ll spend all the money
We’re starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if you’ll take me back
I’m thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, sister
You’ll never know how much I missed her
Starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river’s wide, we’ll swim across
Started up a brand new day
It could happen to you – just like it happened to me
I say love’s such a force – if you find yourself in it
And sometimes no reflection is there
Baby, wait a minute, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Turn the clock to zero, honey
I’ll sell the stock, we’ll spend all the money
We’re starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, Mac
I’m begging her to take me back
I’m thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river’s wide, we’ll swim across
Started up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, buddy
Don’t wanna be no fuddy-duddy
Started up a brand new day
I’m the rhythm in your tune, I’m the sun and you’re the moon
I’m a bat and you’re the cave
You’re the beach and I’m the wave
You’re the glove and I’m the hand
I’m the train and you’re the station
I’m a flagpole to your nation – yeah! I’m the present to your future
You’re the wound and I’m the suture
You’re the magnet to my pole
I’m the devil in your soul
You’re the pupil I’m the teacher
You’re the church and I’m the preacher
You’re the flower I’m the rain
You’re the tunnel I’m the train
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Starting up a brand new day
You’re the crop to my rotation
You’re the sum of my equation
I’m the answer to your question
If you follow my suggestion
We can turn this ship around
You’re the pan and I’m the handle
You’re the flame and I’m the candle
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
We’re starting up a brand new day
This is a poem analysis about the song ‘Brand New Day’, which is sung by Sting. In this analysis I’ll try to tell what the song is about in my own words, next I will distinguish some techniques which have been used in the song, and finally I’ll try to get to know why Sting as written this song, and I will give my opinion about Brand New Day. First I am going to paraphrase what Sting tried to tell his audience. In the first 12 lines, he is saying what a pain love can be (‘Love is pain’). He is stressing all negative sides of love, especially when someone broke off a relation with you. And when you see a picture of you two still together, smiling, you start to think of those good old times, and that you still could’ve been together, smiling just as happily as on that picture. But then he says you should never say die, and that you should go on with your life, no matter how hard it will be. (‘The river’s wide, we’ll swim across.’) Then he signs that it could happen to everyone, ‘just like it happened to him.’ Sometimes you love someone so much, you the one you love doesn’t love you, and that can be painful, too. Next he says again that you should go on with your life, how hard and tough it may be. In the last part of the song, Sting suggests that he has found someone, and that they fit perfectly well together. He gives lots of examples which belong together, too, and adapts them to himself and his love: I’m the rhythm in your tune. You’re the tunnel I’m the train. You’re the sum of my equation. In between all those examples he stimulates his audience again to not mourn too long, and to go out and find someone else to love. Stand up all you lovers in the world. We’re starting up a brand new day. And that’s how the song ends. Now I’ll have a look at how the song is built up, and what kind of techniques have been used by Sting. In the first part of the song I couldn’t discover any clear use of ever recurring rhythm, but in the last part I could. In the three stanzas in which Sting compares himself and his love to things that belong together, every line has around eight syllables and that gives a nice rhythm. There also is rhyme in the song, but it doesn’t really have one regular structure, because there are a few different rhyming structures used. A rhyming structure can be expressed by letters, and here follows one rhyming structure used by Sting: AAE BBE CCE DDE
These letters stand for the first 12 lines. Every letter indicates one line, and the A indicates one rhyming sound, the B another one, etc. Now I’m going to write something about other techniques being used in the song (e.g. alliteration, simile, assonance or repetition). In the title already (Brand New Day) a technique has been used. For the word ‘brand’ has a connotation with warmth and love, which is the subject of this song. In the words lonely, sleepless nights consonance of the letter l has been used. The l is a ‘long’ letter, and conveys the idea of a long night, so I think it has been successfully used. In that same verse the words ‘how many’ are repeated several times. This indicates that there really were very many sleepless nights, lies and fights. And the words nights, lies and fights show us another technique being used, namely assonance: the repetition of vowel sounds. This i-sound doesn’t really convey a mood or situation, but it might be connected with the word ‘why?’ because it has the same sound, and that word does actually convey the mood of the person who seems to haven’t slept all those nights. In the fourth verse you can see the use of a simile in the sentence ‘How could it be that what you need the most could leave you feeling just like a ghost?’. With the words ‘what you need the most’ is meant love, I suppose, so here is asked why love can make you feel like a ghost, when someone has broken off a relation with you. A ghost has connotation with negative things like fear and cold, which has connotations which loneliness. So I think this simile has been used successfully. In the sixth verse alliteration has been used in the words ‘I’ll sell the stock, we’ll spend all the money’. Although the s is a soft sound and it’s often used in positive situations, I think it has some kind of “negative side-effect”. And this verse is about what you could do to carry on with your life again, so this use of alliteration doesn’t really work for me. In the tenth verse simile is used again: ‘It could happen to you, just like it happened to me.’ This tells the audience that he knows what he’s singing about, because he has experienced it all by himself once. In this way the audience will listen to Sting earlier, so I think this simile has been used in a successful way. In the eleventh verse the words ‘wait a minute’ have been repeated several times. In the previous verse is said that ‘there sometimes is no reflection’, which means that the one you love, has no special feelings for you, too. And this repetition of ‘wait a minute’ can be seen as the one who loves the other is asking (almost begging) the other to not go away, but to ‘wait a minute’, and by this repetition that situation is well described. In the fifteenth verse is a nice play with words and sound: ‘Turn the clock to zero buddy, don’t wanna be no fuddy-duddy.’ This sentence contains rhyme, assonance, and consonance. The words buddy and fuddy-duddy have a childish sound, and adults (or teenagers) don’t want to love someone in a childish way, so they might listen to Sting’s advice earlier. So I think also this technique has been used successfully. In the eighteenth and twentieth verse the words ‘stand up’ are repeated several times. In this powerful way (when the song’s sung, these words are screamed) of using words, Sting wants to stress for the last time to go on with your life and not to say die. In the nineteenth verse the word ‘flame’ has connotations with warmth and love, just like the title of the song. This is an effective way of convincing your audience. And there are many more interesting techniques used in this great song, but I think now it’s time to look at why Sting has written Brand New Day. I think that with this song Sting wants to take a message, an advice to be more precise, to his audience, which is that you must not let your life stop and fade away when someone broke off your relation. You should stand up and go on living, looking for another love. It will be hard, and you won’t find ‘your true love’ in like one day, and there might be set backs, but you may not say die. You must go on, starting up a brand new day. My opinion about this song is very positive. When I first heard the song I was immediately impressed by just the music. But after I have done this poem analysis I know what the song is about and what Sting tries to make clear to his audience. I’m even more impressed now and I think this is a magnificent song. As additional assignment to this analysis we had to find an article which has some connection with this song, and explain why we’ve chosen that very article. I chose the article ‘When puppy love bites: even though it’s tempting to offer advice, sympathy and restraint are often your best approach when adolescent love leaves wounds’ because it is about a girl, Alyx, whose heart was broken after her boyfriend broke up with her. In the article is written how she deals with it, and how her family deals with it. An expert on this subject gives some comment on how to act towards Alyx, and how not to. So this article has the same subject as the song, and also gives advice, but in the song advice is given to the one whose heart has been broken, and in the article advice is given to relatives of the one whose heart was broken. When puppy love bites: even though it's tempting to offer advice, sympathy and restraint are often your best approach when adolescent love leaves wounds
Alyx Holmes was 14 years old when the boy she loved abruptly ended their yearlong relationship. And when the relationship ended, the heartbreak began. "It was very, very painful," says Alyx, who's from Arlington, Texas. "Getting over it was a slow and gradual process that took almost a year. I just could not stop thinking about it." Alyx was helped enormously by the support of her mom during those difficult times. "She came and sat next to me and asked if I wanted to talk. I usually didn't," laughs Alyx, "but she made sure I knew she was there for me." Her mom didn't try to give her unwanted advice, nor did she try to diminish the depth of Alyx's hurt by writing off the relationship as mere puppy love. Alyx's mother did exactly the right thing. "At times like this, it's important to listen and let your child know you are there, but you shouldn't intrude. You should err on the side of not giving advice," says Janet R. Laubgross, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Fairfax, Virginia, and a member of the American Psychological Association who specializes in relationship issues. Researchers are discovering that lending your teen a helping hand, willing ear, and shoulder to cry on during a breakup is more important than previously thought. For example, a study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology shows that a painful romantic falling-out in adolescence can trigger major depression, a condition that may stay with some people for years to come. Even if a breakup doesn't lead to a long-term case of the blues, what you say and do during this emotional time can stay with your child for a lifetime. WHAT NOT TO SAY
When dealing with heartbreak, sometimes it's not what you say, but rather what you shouldn't say. Parents often end up trying to be helpful with such comments as, "There are plenty more fish in the sea," and "You're better off without him," and perhaps the worst of all, "It was just puppy love." "Comments like these are well-meant but they can exacerbate the problem," says Deborah Welsh, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville who does research into adolescent romantic relationships. "Kids are feeling a lot of pain during this time and it is important not to belittle that pain." "YOU'RE YOUNG, YOU'LL GET OVER IT IN NO TIME." Yes, it can seem to you that your teen is overreacting, but think back to your childhood before saying anything. "Teens tend to feel everything intensely, and studies show that romantic relationships are the largest source of intense feelings in teens, both positive and negative," Welsh says. "I DIDN'T LIKE HER ANYWAY." You may not have and, now that she's broken your son's heart, you downright detest her. But don't let on because, despite the current circumstances, your child still has a strong emotional attachment to his ex. Attacking her attacks him. A better tactic is to recognize that this person was a special love in your child's life. You might even hear him say as much with a comment such as, "I'm never going to feel this way again." Your response to that? "You're right. You won't. Every time you fall in love it will be different." It's a validation of the way he feels without closing the door on future happiness. "YOU'LL LOOK BACK AND LAUGH ABOUT THIS ONE DAY." That may well be true but now is not the time to say so. Your child will be emotionally incapable of appreciating humor for a while. "Teens--girls especially--tend to ruminate about the loss, spending time in their rooms listening to sad music and dwelling on their sorrow," Welsh says. You may not be able to get your child to laugh, but you can, and should, get her out of the gloom and doom of her bedroom, Welsh says. Recruit a sympathetic friend to take her to the mall. Slip a sibling a few dollars to take her to a movie. Go on a long walk or bicycle ride, just you and her. The most important thing you can do during this time is simply be there for your child. Touch her hair as you walk by a little more often. Bring home his favorite takeout food (even if he doesn't eat it). Drive her to school if you can. Tell him that you realize he probably doesn't want to talk yet, but if he ever does, you'll be more than happy to listen. Don't be in any rush to talk once you get your child out and about. Let her initiate the conversation. Even if she doesn't talk (and she probably won't), the simple act of getting outside with someone who loves her will do her a world of good. WHEN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
Despite the initial agony, most kids get over heartbreak pretty quickly, says Janet R. Laubgross, a psychologist in Fairfax, Virginia. Usually that means a few weeks or, at the most, months. A few kids, however, run into real problems, especially if they've been struggling in other areas of the their lives as well. Here are a few things to keep in mind: * Major depressive disorder may set in as long as eight months after the breakup for these teens. Although relatively rare, depression can be dangerous. If your child does not seem to be bouncing back from the breakup some months later, is preoccupied with the loss, or is not interested in any of his or her normal activities, you should talk to your family doctor or the school psychologist or counselor. * Other signs to watch for: self-destructive behaviors (such as drug or alcohol use), falling grades, a continuing sense of hopelessness, an inability to have fun, a withdrawal from friends, a major change in eating or sleeping habits, a desire to run away (or actually does run away). Don't delay getting help if you spot any of these warnings. They could indicate that severe depression has set in.
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