Tyler Down and Hannah Baker; a conversation on Earth.
Tyler: Hey, I didn’t know Hannah had a twin sister?
Hannah: Of course not, I’m Hannah Baker itself. And you know that, otherwise you could take pictures of her as well.
Tyler: I don’t know what to say to you, Hannah.
Hannah: Of course not, I think I couldn’t say anything as well in your situation, Peeping Tom. You took my safe heaven. My house. My bedroom. My privacy.
Tyler: Yes, I did. I know, and I’m really sorry about that, Hannah. And when I was finished listening to the tape where you tell your story about me, I…
Hannah: Sorry, I interrupt you, but can I talk for a moment now? I still have so many questions for you. And let me make myself clear, I’m only here to have a conversation with you to make things clear for myself. Not that I want to talk to you because you’re Tyler. I really don’t like what you did to me. So now the questions, and I want good answers of you! How were you feeling when I stood there looking at your house when I was recording the tape about you, instead of you looking at my bedroom?
Tyler: I felt like I didn’t have any privacy. I was also very happy that I didn’t do things like undressing or something. I didn’t like it and especially the fact I didn’t know someone was watching me.
Hannah: But why did you do it to me then? Those nights you stood outside my window, was I spontaneous enough for you? What did you see? Did you catch my in all my natural, unposed … You know what I mean.
Tyler: I’m really sorry, Hannah! I didn’t see anything special.
Hannah: And were you disappointed about that? Or did you still enjoy it? Were you pleasantly surprised about something in my life?
Tyler: No Hannah, when I was listening to the tape about me…
Hannah: I was trying to understand the excitement of staring through someone’s bedroom window. Watching someone who doesn’t know they’re being watched. What was this excitement, the thing I don’t understand. Did you want to see me, or was it just being a Peeping Tom, and it did not matter who you looked at? I need to know why you did this to me.
Tyler: When I was listening to the tape about me, and I heard how bad you felt, I began to realize what I did to you. So I told my parents what I did. I didn’t tell something about the tape but I did tell about making pictures of you, being a Peeping Tom. I told them that I felt very bad as well. They said I could better go to a psychologist. So I did. When I was there, I told my story. I asked her what the reasons could be for doing this. She said some reasons, and I answered some questions of her. She said that I suffer from a condition called scopophobia.
Hannah: Scopohasia? What is dat?
Tyler: Scopophobia. It’s a fear of being seen or noticed by others.
Hannah: But then, why did you watch my then? The chance that I would see you in front of my window was bigger than when you’re just in your bedroom?
Tyler: But for someone like me, it’s difficult to have normal, social or sexual interaction. Maybe you don’t really see it, but I almost never talk with people I don’t know. Just with good friends, and family. People I trust. A person with this condition cannot get contact with people very easy. So they start observing others, also because of a sexual release. It’s not that I wanted to be with you, I didn’t want to participate in anything in your life. But it’s just observing from a distance, in the shadows.
Hannah: But, but that changes the whole story, Tyler! How can I be angry on you just because your suffering from a condition? And I know, you will never do it to again right?
Tyler: No, I will never do it to any person anymore. I talked a lot of times with the psychologist and she helped me getting over my fear of being seen by others. I’m kind of better now! And I’m really sorry about what I did to you!
Hannah: Oh, I’m feeling a kind of relieved now. You said sorry, told me why you did this, and I got good answers, and you will never do it again, also not to others. So what do I have left to be angry about? So Tyler, I accept your apology. I thought in the beginning of this conversation that this wouldn’t ever happen. So I’m feeling good now.
Tyler: I didn’t think you were going to say that! Thank you very much for accepting my apology. And I will do nothing with the pictures I made. I’ll throw them away, and I will use my camera only for the yearbook. I will never use it as a Peeping Tom! But can I ask you something now? What about your suicide and the pills, how can you be here…
Hannah: Please don’t talk about that, Tyler. But I’m happy I talked to you.
Het boekverslag gaat verder na deze boodschap.
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